Where does self-help start and sanity management begin? I’ve tried journals, meditation, drinking and therapy. At least one of which I’m sure I’ll do again. I’ve done many things, (few of them exceptionally well, in my own opinion) but I’ve done them. “Know enough to get in trouble” has been my go-to. Might not be enough since I deem to always find myself in trouble. Welcome to the ride, this will be my (hopefully) day to day thoughts and what’s on my mind. Some won’t make sense, some will. But if you’re here already then you might already know me; or relate to my sanity point. Buckle in, thanks for whatever attention-span we both might have.

I find myself at a mental crossroad, on one hand I have what most would be fine with: enough to make my life livable, a good support system, and the internet has apparently; but on the other I have fear, doubt, and hesitancy. So here I am. So where does that leave us dear readers? That I do not know; and I may never know. I want more than ever right now to simply exist, but I am here writing when I should be sleeping, or at least wishing I was.

I am within my “happy-place” as I’ve been told is a good place to be when evaluating one’s self. Got a great pup, a comfy chair, and clean cold water. Why is my motivation to have a silly movie for noise and write about what’s on my mind? My guess is if I keep letting it rattle around in my brain I’ll lose the sanity I have left, if that’s right or wrong we shall soon see.

Back to our newly scheduled programming. I survive, every day. Get through the 24 hours ahead and reassess. Why? Because that’s what I do. I’m trying to have a longer horizon, maybe one from at least 10 feet up compared to 3 inches so to speak. Short horizon makes for easy goal accomplishment. The self help books do say start small with the goals (Might have two or three within arms reach). Let’s call this step one? Maybe this will help someone other than myself, maybe it won’t; either way it seems to be helping me relax a touch.

I suppose let me get to the crux of my current thought and attempt to carry on. I want to be proactive, not reactive. Small step this, but its something. Please feel free to join me on this journey; it’ll be a ride filled with ups, downs, tangents and typos (as much as I can avoid em that is). Thanks for getting this far.

-LostAcorns